Mastering the Art of Talk Dating Like a Generation Z: Fifty-One Niche Terms for Love, Intimacy and Bad Behaviour

The current period represents a ten-year milestone since the word “vanishing” entered the mainstream. At the time, the notion that someone could abruptly cease communication with a partner without any notice seemed like the height of indignity. How naive we were. In the decade since, finding a significant other has only become more bewildering – an oftentimes fruitless endeavor in awkwardness that is increasingly shaped by social media slang.

Zoomers, a generation who matured during a loneliness crisis, a masculinity reckoning, and a concerted attack on the freedoms of females and the queer community, faces a far messier terrain than their millennial elders could ever envision. And so their romantic vocabulary has grown more extensive and more unhinged, with expressions like “Shrekking” and “vine swinging” straining the boundaries of your sanity.

The following list is a comprehensive guide to the phrases this generation is using to discuss romance, sex and the pursuit of both. To paraphrase one of the year’s most popular online sayings, by the conclusion of this guide you’ll long to get back to God’s country – because wherever that is, it doesn’t have “wokefishing”.

The Letter A

Genuineness – According to gen Z, dating’s ultimate goal is showing up as your true, unvarnished self. Good luck with that!

B

Avian theory – A social media test loosely based on a test developed by couples researchers, in which you point out something insignificant – for example, “I saw a bird today” – and observe whether your date's reply is engaged or disinterested. If they do not want to hear more about the bird, you two are not compatible.

Mysterious girlfriend – Gen Z’s answer to the “quirky fantasy girl” stereotype of the early 2000s – but instead of having short fringe, liking indie music and eschewing commitment, the mysterious partner prioritizes herself while radiating mystery and independence. (She may yet have that fringe.)

The Letter C

Seat theory – This means seeking out someone who aids you proactively. If you entered a room, they would fetch a chair for you to take a load off.

Errand romance – A meet-up where two people form a link while handling tasks, such as walking the dog or grocery shopping. In other words, how cash-strapped people in their 20s do budget-friendly romance in a post-cheap-date world.

Melting down – Melting down when you feel swamped by life. You can crash out over a crush or split, venting all of your (unrequited) feelings.

D

DINK – Two incomes, no children. Once a signifier of 1980s young urban professional affluence, it describes partners who forgo having children to prioritize their own well-being. Or because they cannot afford to become parents.

E

Emotional vibe coding – The antithesis of playing it cool: embracing dialogue, transparency and openness.

The Letter F

Signals

• Danger signals – Behavioral quirks indicating a potential partner is bad news. For instance calling their exes unstable, bad gratuity habits, a fondness for Woody Allen films, a burgeoning DJ career …
• Good indicators – These quirks affirm your decision to date a mate. Such as following up to make sure you got home safe after a date, low phone use, having a bed frame …
• Beige flags – These typically describe niche, mostly inoffensive idiosyncrasies. Examples include being an keen birdwatcher, still carrying around a biro in their bag, paying rent in cash …

Niche bonding – When you connect with someone who’s just as enthusiastic about films about the WWII or physical media hoarding or art or whatever it may be, as you. Or, on the flip side, finding someone who loathes the same things or individuals that you do (few things builds closeness faster than sharing a nemesis).

G

Geese – A band a typical Zoomer guy is into.

Ghostlighting – Someone who reappears into your life after a length of silence.

Golden retriever boyfriend – Someone who is friendly, eager to please and devoted. The uncommon boyfriend who is liked by all of his significant other's friends, and a black cat girlfriend's opposite.

Gooners – A mostly online community of men so preoccupied with masturbation that they attempt lengthy sessions, purposefully postponing climax so they can persist as long as possible.

The Letter H

Gloomy heterosexuality – A mindset describing many women's increasing pessimism toward heterosexual relationships. It will come as little surprise to anyone who read the previous entry.

High-value woman – An ideal championed by online male influencer figures: a woman who is attractive, nurturing and contentedly home-oriented, who apparently has no goals of her own aside from pleasing her male partner. Perhaps now you’re beginning to understand the whole “heterofatalism” thing better?

I

Icks – Random and often mundane dealbreakers that instantly shut down any feelings of desire.

“If he wanted to, he would" – Something to remember after you watch someone else receive an extremely sweet act.

J

Careers – These have not been this important in the romance landscape since the Wall Street era. For some women, a “banker” is the ideal partner: a fleece-vest-wearing, conservative-leaning guy who will provide (there’s a popular TikTok song on the topic). Meanwhile the left-leaning crowd prefer partners in professions they believe are being staffed by the more caring among us: healthcare workers, educators or counselors.

K

Making out – This year, researchers learned that the kiss has been around for 16 million years. But the days of locking lips may be limited since some Zoomers want fewer intimate scenes in film, as they are having reduced intimacy themselves and do not find onscreen romance authentic.

Enhanced profile crafting – Slight exaggeration. Or, not exactly being dishonest about who you are, but maybe using outdated (better) photos of yourself on a dating app profile, or making your job sound more prestigious than it is. Also known as {